Eiffel Power Motorsports (French: Eiffel Puissance Moteur Sports) is a French-speaking team, based primarily in New Caledonia. For logistical reasons, the team has three bases, one in New Caledonia, one in Canada and one in France. The team made its début at Kimster's Grotty Crashmas Grotto.
The team's current drivers are team boss Craighypheno - Craig Woollard and Sam Hill. The team has a reputation for its fierce intra-team rivalries, for its constant battle with Kaibutsu Racing, hating Scottish Nationalists, confusing liveries as well as being a haven for Gran Turismo 6 refugees. To date, it has six race victories.
Founded by Craighypheno towards the end of 2014, Eiffel Power Motorsports was meant to be a team registered for the V8 Australicars season only. Since then, the team has ventured into both special events as well as Endurance racing.
The team's very first race came at the Really Rubbish Racing Facility in Finland. Mixed results came, as Craighypheno took a podium as well as a non-finish, the first of his career.
Eiffel Power made it's two-car début at GEARS Between the Lakes with KoopaTroopa14 and Craighypheno finishing in seventh and tenth respectively.
On the Track
The team made it's first appearance at the annual Crashmas event. In a livery which differs from the conventional Eiffel Power livery, Craighypheno dragged the car to varying results, after rolling over at the first corner on his qualifying attempt. The team managed a podium in its first appearance, with a third place. Craig eventually finished seventh overall with over 2000 points.
For the very first race of 2015, Craig-O teamed up with Miata Masters runner-up KoopaTroopa14 and opted to run an Aston Martin. The team had a strong 'proper' début, with Koopa making an aggressive strategy work to take seventh place. Craig-O recovered from various spins to take tenth place in the dying seconds of the race away from the Sensible Racing car driven by a fatigued RaceProUK. Another seventh followed for Koopa at Mosport whilst Craig achieved his best result of the season at the GEARS Green Hell with ninth.
Special Event 36: MmmKei
Eiffel Power made its console début in the special event, MmmKei. It marked the first time that Craig-O went up against the Goteki House of PJ as a rival, and not as a team mate. Craig went the wrong way with setup but still managed a podium at Matterhorn.
Craig-O and rookie TheNorfolk planned to team up for the V8 Australicars series, but Craig turned up to most of the events on his own, and he finished 11th in the first race of the season. Fortune gifted Craig a strong eighth place in the second race of the season.
The second event went terribly, as Craig struggled badly for any pace, and finished well out of the points in both events. A crash on the penultimate lap at Bathurst and further bad results at Adelaide saw Craig slip right down the table.
However, strong results at Barbagallo and again at the Circuit of the Americas saw Craig regain momentum, and score some good points for him and the team.
With Goteki House not competing in Season 17, Eiffel Power took part with a line-up consisting of Craig and Mega GT World Tour frontrunner Don Patch. The team secured its first pole thanks to Craighypheno and its first victory thanks to Patch. Craig had multiple opportunities to take victories but made mistakes whilst in the lead on no less than three occasions.
The annual Cruddy event did not go well on Eiffel's first appearance. A dodgy disqualification for Craig and a late retirement for Eiffel newcomer tonyandmargaret saw both cars fail to finish.
Eiffel Power's first trip to a home race did not end particularly well. Neil disconnected early on whilst Craig, who had solid pace had an incident in the opening phase of the race which gave him unrepairable engine damage. Craig eventually came home a distant 11th in class and 16th overall.
For the second PC season of competition, Neil was brought on full-time. Results did not come immediately, with both drivers being off the pace at Donington. However Neil put in a spirited recovery drive to achieve his first PC points at Castle Combe. Craig returned to the points at Oulton Park and took a strong result at Mondello park before both drivers met on track at Cadwell Park and again at Knockhill - the latter being where Neil achieved a strong fourth on the grid in qualifying. The team's best result came at the final race of the season, with Neil coming home in fourth and Craig in eighth despite contact from Sam Hill on no less than three occasions.
Despite a depleted grid, Craig could not achieve any strong results on a brand new game, struggling to get to grips with RaceRoom's physics.
Neil ran alone on the first Assetto Corsa event in Realish Racing. In typical Eiffel fashion, he ended up somewhere in the midfield.
In Realish Racing's first charity event, Craig struggled to get to grips with John Cleland's Vauxhall Vectra in the race, eventually crashing out. Oops.
Eiffel newcomer ArcticCareBear replaced Craig for Realish Racing's first Stock Car Extreme venture. Neil had a strong outing, achieving his first PC podium whilst Chris showed strong pace which ultimately did not translate into results.
The GEARS World Cup at the fearsome Macau Guia Street Circuit saw Eiffel Power run three cars for the first time. The first race was marred by a horrific fiery accident for Craighypheno on the second lap. Meanwhile a crash late on cost ArcticCareBear some strong points. Tonyandmargaret finished the top Eiffel in the first race. The second race went a bit more smoothly for all except for tonyandmargaret. All three cars finished in the points in the second race, with ArcticCareBear utilising his wheel to look after his tyres better than his team mates.
Realish Racing's fifth Crashmas marked one year since the team's birth. There were a lot of crashes, Neil apologised one time and Craig won the destruction derby section of the night.
That did not go well. Heatlie scored a ye olde point though at Canada.
Eiffel fielded two cars for much of the 2016 GEARS season, which saw some promise translated into few results. A crash for Woollard and a disconnection for Heatlie saw the team pointless at Abu Dhabi, whilst a crash with jims709 saw Woollard warned for his driving at Bathurst. Suzuka did not suit the car particularly well, whilst the straights of Aragon produced a slight headache. Spa provided a strong result however, with Woollard and Heatlie bringing their cars home fourth and fifth non-respectively in a race of attrition. Timing issues restricted Eiffel to just one car at Sebring and at Mexico, where Heatlie scored solid points. The final round at Interlagos saw the team finish with a sixth and an eighth.
The HBTM season marked the first full main series season where Eiffel entered two cars, with Heatlie and Woollard taking to the track in yin and yang-inspired liveries. The season started off very slowly for both, as they got to grips with their new equipment. However by the second round at Jacarepagua, Heatlie had points on the board. Woollard followed this up with his first points at the double points round at Buenos Aires. Heatlie would go on to score in nine consecutive races whilst Woollard would score in the final six, but it was clear that Eiffel slipped down the order somewhat. There were a couple of incidents on track as well, notably at Salvador as Heatlie carelessly took his team mate out. Regardless, Eiffel managed eighth in the teams' championship.
Eiffel had a strong end to a slow start in the inaugural Realish Rally Championship. Heatlie partnered Woollard in separate cars but it was the Scottish driver who had the strongest run to date for an Eiffel Power driver, notching up three wins in the final four rallies. With that, he somehow became the inaugural Realish Rally Champion. Woollard's form was poor however, finishing last in all of the rallies he finished except for the final one, where he finished second-last. Woollard's inability to bring strong results meant that Eiffel narrowly missed out on the Teams' Championship to Priority 1 Motorsport.
Bon Anniversaire! Cinq marked the first time in 2016 where three Eiffel Powers started the race. Newcomer Kyran Parkin secured a historic win for Eiffel Power in the special event. Fortunes were not so good for Woollard or Heatlie however, with the former having issues beyond control and the latter withdrawing from the event.
The CruddyCar World Series saw Eiffel run newcomer Kyran Parkin to replace Heatlie, who left the team after forgetting to actually mention that he intended to drive in the series. Woollard ran alone for the first two races, crashing at St. Petersburg and having no pace at Barber. A strong fourth and fifth was the reward at Pocono, having run well for much of the race. Long Beach saw much success however, with Parkin decimating the field. Woollard would finish fifth, despite crashing. Parkin finished second at Road Atlanta after controversial contact with Mr Flobadob whilst Woollard crashed again, this time pursuing DanThorn. Woollard disconnected from Mid Ohio whilst Parkin could only manage seventh, before the streets of San Jose provided another dismal result after a crash between the two drivers. Things did not improve at Charlotte, as both drivers would crash in the race - Parkin terminally, Woollard nursing a car to come home a disappointing fifth from a front row lockout. The team managed fifth and sixth at Watkins Glen, securing third in the championship ahead of Kaibutsu Racing and the Scottish National Party.
This was rather messy. A lot of rum was consumed, and Woollard deliberately hit former team mate Heatlie several times throughout the night. There was a random podium despite not completing a single lap though.
Not all Realish Racing events feature qualifying.
Series & Championships
Series and championship results tables go here.
Bold - Pole Position
Italics - Fastest Lap
(Brackets) - Dropped Scores
* Season in Progress
Note: the final round of the Hyper Brazilian Tourismo Mestres was scheduled for 36 laps, but the race was abandoned before 75% distance was reached. Half points (i.e. normal points as it was scheduled as a double points race) were awarded.
- * The sixth Crashmas used a raffle points system, in addition to having points deducted whenever tonyandmargaret led a lap. Because reasons.
- Eiffel Power is the most successful French team in Realish Racing history.
- Both Woollard and Heatlie were in the top three of the ‘best beard’ category in the end-of-year awards for 2015
- Having a black front bumper has been a tradition ever since V8 Australicars, after commentators TomBrooks and icthyes were confused as to whether Woollard had his bumper or not at Hidden Valley.
- Eiffel Power's fierce rivalry with Kaibutsu Racing may have originated due to the ongoing qualifying duel between Craighypheno and Lin1876, however claims that these battles are as exciting as the ones between Nico Rosberg and Lewis Hamilton are supposedly untrue.
- Oddly, Eiffel Power has no affiliation with Eiffel Power, which focuses on erectial dysfunction.
- The status of Eiffel Power's ability to retain drivers for more than a season was questioned after the CruddyCar World Series, as thanks to the Homewrecker, no driver was left at the team heading into Christmas.